To be a Vampire's Soul
by Purple bladed jedi
Summary: Was Bella really insane when she thought she could hear Edwards voice in NM? Was Carlisle right when he said that vampires do have souls? This is the story of Edward's soul from his change to Bella's.


_This isn't right,_ I thought to myself. _There is no way it could be right._

I was standing in a small, dark room. The window shutters were locked and there was only a simple bed in the middle of the room.

I don't know how I got there. My last memory was of being at the hospital where I lay dying next to my mother.

I slowly approached the bed. I only just noticed the blood-curdling screams that echoed from the white sheets. The body on the bed thrashed about but couldn't find the strength to move off the bed.

I felt like I almost glided to the poor person's side, like I was hardly touching the floor. The screams began to lessen until they were merely whimpers. I gazed at the man lying limp in his sweat-covered sheets.

Gasping, I took a step back and stared wide-eyed at the young man before me. His bronze hair had darkened and flattened from sweat, and his skin had paled to a ghostly white with dark purple bruises under his closed eyes.

_How could this be? _I wondered in amazement and shock. I recognised the young man in pain… it was me. I shook my head, trying to clear it. There was no way this was possible. I always questioned reality but this was too difficult to understand.

"Oh my God…" I whispered. How could I be standing here _and _be in that bed at the same time? I must be having a nightmare, or maybe even an out-of-body experience that I've heard people talk about.

Suddenly, _Me_, Edward Masen, stopped fighting his covers and his eyes snapped open. They weren't the bright, emerald green that I had inherited from my mother. Instead, they were a startlingly dark, bloody burgundy.

I gasped and stumbled back, but _he_ didn't seem to notice. Steps echoed outside the room and hopes of an explanation of this witchcraft swirled in my mind as well as a few mumbled phrases that didn't seem relevant to my current thoughts.

But as the door opened, I felt my hopes diminish. I must be damned to this curse, for the man that entered also had a copy of himself. They had blonde hair, cut short and combed back, and they were wearing white doctor's coats. The only difference between the two strangely young men was that one was extremely handsome with golden-butterscotch eyes, while the other was a more average-looking man with clear hazel eyes.

The hazel-eyed man smiled at me and walked –no, glided- toward me while the other man strode gracefully toward my other self, who was looking terrified and angry at same time.

"Hello, Edward," said the two men in unison. They wore comforting smiles, but the strange mirror-reality kept me on edge.

_This is just some wacko nightmare,_ I tried to tell myself. Hazel eyes looked at me sympathetically, like he knew all about what I was going through.

"Who are you?" both my selves asked. My head whipped around to look at _me_ in bed but he didn't seem to notice me, he just stared at the golden-eyed man.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen," they both replied. I stared at hazel-eyed Carlisle, who was making his way closer to me while the other Carlisle headed closer to the bed.

"What is this sick, twisted spell you've put on me?" I yelled, though my other self remained silent. This confused me further.

The Carlisle near me gazed at me sadly. "This is no witchcraft, Edward. Though it is my fault…" –he looked at the other man– "…his fault."

I shook my head, not understanding him. "You're speaking riddles to me, Sir," I muttered through clenched teeth. Even in all this madness I was polite. My mother would have been proud.

My eyes widened as I remembered my mother. Though the memories were fuzzy and broken up, I still could just see her beautiful face. In that moment I didn't care what happened to me, as long as my mother was safe.

"What have you done to my mother?" both my selves shouted. The two Carlisles' expressions changed to a look of pain and sadness and I felt my stomach drop in fear.

"She died of influenza shortly before I changed you, Edward. I was the doctor of both of you and an hour before she passed she asked that I do _everything _in_ my _power to save her only son. And that's what I did…" Gold-eyed Carlisle muttered and looked away, ashamed with what he had done, while Hazel-eyes just watched me sadly, glancing at red-eyed me who was silently trembling.

I then realised I was also shaking. The two Carlisles looked at us thoughtfully.

'_I better not tell him everything in one hit. He's already shaken up enough. Maybe I should take him hunting?'_

Me and Red-eyes growled at them. "Don't talk like I'm not here!" we shouted at them. They looked stunned for a moment at our outburst.

"I didn't say anything…" they replied cautiously. Hazel-eyes looked at Gold-eyes, then back to me.

"Yes, you did! What aren't you telling me? What do you mean 'take him hunting'?" They looked shocked that I'd heard them, which I couldn't understand since they had spoken out loud.

They furrowed their brows with a concentrating look. '_Could he? I thought only Aro… Just maybe… um, Edward…? Say five.'_

We looked quizzically at them before saying a quiet, "five." Their eyes widened and words toppled over each other as new ones muddled the ends of their sentences. '_He really is like Aro, but his skill would have much more potential- this is just truly amazing!- I wonder how he'll react once I tell him?- oh… he can probably hear me.'_

They sighed and looked at us, contemplating. "You probably don't remember well but the influenza hit your town several weeks before now and it wasn't long before your father died as I have heard." They paused for a moment then continued. "Not much time later your mother came down with the deadly disease and then shortly after her, you got it.

"I became attached to the two of you as the sickness slowly killed you. Your mother was a very kind and insightful woman, we had many a talks when I wasn't trying to heal patients or hiding in my small one-bedroom home during the bright, sunny days. But mostly I saw the love she had for you, always asking me to treat you before herself. As long as her young man lived, she'd die a happy woman."

I stared at them confused. For how was I alive now –in a sense- when I had been so close to death? They must have noticed we weren't going to say anything further for they took a deep breath and started again.

"No matter what I did you were still rapidly being pulled into the disease and the night I came to check on you two, I must say things didn't look good. You were unconscious at the time but your mother was struggling to keep awake for the reason I found out, was to wait for me."

They looked sad and defeated, like they were talking of a friend that had just passed away that they could do nothing to stop, which summed up what really happened quite well.

"Why did she wait for you?" I heard myself and _him_ ask together. I was still finding all that was happening a little unnerving.

"She knew she was dying, but in no way was she letting you end up in the morgue with her. When I told her the likely-hood of you dying that day, she pleaded and demanded that I do everything in my power to help you. I tried to tell her there was only so much I could do as a doctor but as I said before; she was very insightful. She told me that if there was anyone that could save her son it would be me.

"I had always thought of changing someone to be like me so I wouldn't be alone anymore. But your mother somehow knew, I could tell, that I could do something. When I promised to help you she smiled and thanked me before her heart finally stopped."

They both sighed again. "I wheeled her to the morgue before coming back for you. No one would notice you gone since you were as good as dead, so I brought you back here and changed you." They finished their story looking at us waiting for a reaction. Hazel-eyes looking at me and Gold-eyes looking at other me.

'_I hope he understands…'_

I didn't know what to say other than, "what do you mean by _changed_?" Red-eyes voiced the same question as well.

The Carlisles' looked uncomfortable.

"By changed I mean you've been turned into a… vampire. And I think you can read minds…"


End file.
